Disruption
by smarty007
Summary: Spitballs are fun!


What could she do? It was inevitable, unavoidable, she knew she was going to do it, and yet--WHY was she doing it? Why must she torture herself day in and day out, grimacing in her heart all the while as she craftily shaped and molded the mutilated fragments of her math book's index? It's a wonder that her mouth was never dry from nervousness, for if she needed an excuse to justify her chickening-out, the most likely one to fall upon would be the lack of saliva. She'd say this was a feat of bravery honorable enough for a Purple Heart, as her _own_ heart felt wounded, throbbing and aching with the shame of what she was about to--Oh, man! Who was she kidding?

This was going to be one of the best yet! She sat in the back corner of the stuffy, brightly lit classroom, obviously not listening to the warbling drone coming from the direction of the chalkboard. She was glad of the calm breeze that was wafting in through the open window and caressing her pale face, but soon her glittering eyes became mere slits, and she let out a faint chuckle of impish glee, waiting for the precise moment...

The mass of goo was a missile unmatched by any other in stealth and speed as it whizzed dangerously close to many people on its way to its target. Some of the comatose pupils even twitched as if some primitive instinct was warning them of impending doom as the sloppy menace hurled by. Still, as always, it soared toward the chosen desk very accurately considering her countless years of skipping stones and pelting Dumpsters with rocks.

In slow motion, mirthful anticipation growing exponentially (A/N: Algebra II has reared its _ooglay_ head and left its mark! XD), she witnessed the ugly blob come closer... closer--a foot, six inches, wait... what was this?! This couldn't--SHOULDN'T--be happening! But it happened, and it happened so fast that if you blinked--well sorry, no instant replay for you! After all these years he'd finally...

He'd... he'd... ducked! Ducked! And now the entire classroom was in complete, abashed shock, for, lo-and-behold! What was once a mighty danger to a certain mass of golden blonde hair was now plastered to the massive posterior of crabby, old Mrs. Wartz!

Wartz, who had been scribbling away at the foggy chalkboard, abruptly stopped droning on about how to complete squares, and whipped her fuzzy head around. Those unfortunate ones in the class who had to endure the lunacy of her son in past years noted the striking family resemblance. Rage was etched into every line of her face, making her look more terrifying than ever. Her blazing eyes jumped from one student to the next, daring each one of them to crack a smile. The silence was uncanny...

And that was when Arnold, who had since turned around in his seat, caught Helga's eye.

That did it.

The two cracked up, throwing their heads back. It only got worse when Helga let out a vicious snort. The remainder of the class looked on with a slightly surprised stupor, nervous eyes focusing back and forth on the three people in question.

A few hours later, Helga was beginning to grumble to herself. Her knees were aching, she smelled faintly of Sloppy Joes, and her hands were beginning to get all prune-y from scrubbing the cafeteria floor with a toothbrush. If one listened closely, there could be heard faint snatches of "_stupid, stupid, stupid,"_ and _"How did I ever allow myself to get into this mess?"_ and sometimes even a dreamy sigh of contentment.

For, even though she could have sworn this kind of punishment was some kind of insult against her rights, all her grumpiness was forgotten for the moment when she glanced over her shoulder across the disgusting floor.

He was _sooooooo_ dreamy!

"MISS _PATAKI_!" came a sharp bark. "GET BACK TO WORK OR I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU'LL BE IN HERE FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS!"

"Yes ma'am, right away ma'am, anything you say ma'am," she mocked, managing an elaborate salute before hunching over to scrub at that suspicious-looking stain on the floor. Helga was trying to force down the laugh that was fighting against her lungs because when she'd looked up, she noticed that the humongous spit-wad was beginning to get crusty.

"I'm WARNING you!"

"Aw, put a sock in it tea-bag..." came a disgruntled whisper.

"_Hey Helga!_"

"What Footb--huh? Grrrrrr..." Her newly-formed eyebrows became knit together in a scowl of disgust. _He_'d caught _her_ off guard, alright... She was totally helpless--one more outburst out of her and she'd _never_ get out of detention!

She whirled around to see his retreating hand disappear into the not-so-soapy bucket. "Wet Willie, Helga!" he snickered before tipping her a huge wink.

Helga barely contained the grin that was threatening to form on her angry face. After violently shaking the water out of her ear, she hissed, "You may have won this time, but don't get used to it, Bucko! I'll get you back just like I always do!"

"Whatever you say, Helga."

"ARNOLD AND HELGA! ONE MORE WORD--"

"Yes ma'am," the two replied simultaneously.


End file.
